I Exist...I Think!

So, I'm here...or at least I think I am. I'm operating on 2 hours of mom sleep. You know, that sleep that's not really sleep because you're constantly subconsciously listening for your daughter to roll out of bed and fall on one of the many toys you told her to put away before bed, but she didn't. The rest of the night, I'm up either nursing my son or prodding and repositioning my fiancé to reduce the amount of snore that I have to endure.

Such is life, and I couldn't ask for a better one. We all want more, if we're smart, but the key to really being happy is finding joy in what you have, just a little bit each day. At the end, you'll better appreciate the blessings if you can find the silver lining in the set backs. But, I digress. Today I'm in a mental space where I feel like I need to share who I am in order to remember who I am. As a mother, we tend to disappear in our families. It could be worse, I could get lost in the mall parking lot again... However, it is so important that we rediscover ourselves because discovery is key to identity, and identity is key to self fulfillment and happiness.
 

Not too long ago, I had a conversation with a fellow mom. She asked me about my fiancé and how many children we share. When I told her that we have a daughter and a newborn son, she responded in a way which I felt was extremely odd. "Ah, a rich man's family," she replied. This was so strange to me because I am neither rich nor a man. I'm no dummy, I understand a figure of speech when it's thrown my way, but help me out here. How can we embrace ourselves when we are constantly immersed in misogyny and stereotypes? Ok, ok I know I just got a little deep.
 

My point here is to share with you how and why I exist, and it does not include a box that I've been placed in. I exist, and therefore I am... I am a woman, I am a fiancé, I am a mother. I am a creative soul, I am a self proclaimed craft goddess and an all around amazing person. I exist to make the world a better place for those both directly and indirectly affected by both my greatness and my mistakes. Yes, I make mistakes and I admit to them, but my awesomeness totally overshadows them. How, you ask? Because I acknowledge who I am and who I am not. I have found my happiness in myself and I am able to elevate myself above the stress and the pettiness and the judgements of this world. Mot avoiding them however, but embracing them. And though I can embrace these things, I do not internalize them. Nothing defines me, except for me. I am me, I exist...well I think, don't judge me, I'm tired!!